


Wild

by peaceminusweareone



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Drabble, Getting Together, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Not Proofread, mention of anxiety, sehun is of age just still in school, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 20:00:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14576541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peaceminusweareone/pseuds/peaceminusweareone
Summary: based on Wild by Troye Sivan





	Wild

_ “You make my heart shake, bend and break, but I can’t turn away and it’s driving me wild. You’re driving me wild.” _ __  
  
Sehun runs down the street, panting heavily and his backpack swinging precariously in his hand as the streetlights chase him. The night was closing in on him quickly. Muggy air and the singing of crickets and cicadas, signaling the on coming summer. The humid air made it even harder to breathe, but even still, Sehun ran.   
  
At this time, cars had slowed to a complete stop, sitting outside their homes and waiting for their next use. Sehun felt the strong desire to use one of those cars, but in some ways, running better suited the situation. He paused briefly, removing his phone from the pocket of his school pants and checking the time.   
  
_ 7:26 _   
  
He still had a few minutes.    
  
Sliding his phone back, he continued his run, adjusting his backpack and going faster than before. His destination was just in sight. An old wrought iron fence that led to his paradise on Earth. The sight of this fence, jump started his heart and his legs as he frantically dashed for it, chucking his bag over, before jumping over the fence himself. His awkward landing that left him coated in dirt and grass stains, also left him undeterred.    
  
Now all that was left, was a small trek and he’d be there.    
  
Since his legs had stopped racing, it was his mind’s turn. Tumbling over thoughts and building scenarios out of the night air. He was nervous, yes. But, he had planned this for years. He craved nothing more than this.  He sighs. Mostly to clear his lungs, partially to clear his mind.   
  
His true destination is in sight. The tall grasses that reside by the pond coming into view, accompanied by the sound of crickets growing louder and the distant trickle of water making an anticipated entrance to the soundtrack of the night. His limbs grow cold with nervousness, but still. He walks.   
  
It has to be 7:30, by now. Sehun isn’t one for living his life by time, but now time is all he cares about. Hours, minutes, seconds. Breaths, steps, hands. Different measures of the same thing.    
  
He makes his way to his spot quickly, sitting on the old milk crate he claimed as his chair years ago. Beside him, sits a similar one of the same age, but different hue. It’s empty. Sehun waits.   
  
He’s not waiting for long when he hears footsteps in the damp grass. The footsteps tread lightly, clearly trying not to be heard. Sehun bites back a smile.   
  
Trying not to react to the footsteps, he watches the still water, actually interested in the mosquitoes dipping in it and flying across the surface, when his vision is obstructed by hands. Familiar hands.   
  
“Guess who?”   
  
Sehun doesn’t have to. Letting out a small giggle, he peels the hands from his eyes and smiles his hardest at the figure staring down at him.    
  
“Mind if I take this seat?” The figure gestures, pointing to his respective milk crate. Sehun shakes his head frantically.   
  
Sehun was well and fully prepared for tonight, but looking at him in the light of the setting sun, the familiar doubt begins to creep in.   
  
“Sehunnie, why did you want me to come here?” Junmyeon breaks the silence with a question. Not scolding or belittling, but a question. “We haven’t used this spot in years.”   
  
He was right. Ever since Junmyeon had left for college, it had been a weekly thing for him to come home to see his family. And Sehun. Namely, Sehun. However, this spot had remained unused for well over two years. Since his graduation when Sehun cried over Junmyeon’s going away. But now, this spot was a stage, almost. And Sehun was suffering from terrible stage fright.   
  
“I, uh. Wanted to talk to you, I guess?” His voice was wavering and unsure. He was very sure of what he needed to talk about. But of course, his mouth betrayed him. “Not I guess, but, I need to talk to you.” Better.    
  
At this, Junmyeon turns from the water, facing Sehun instead with a slightly confused expression on his face. Even with that expression, he was still godlike to Sehun. Harsh eyebrows framing soft eyes, silky hair pushed out of the way and brown glasses sitting on his nose carefully. This is truly Junmyeon at his finest. His most natural.   
  
And that’s where the problem lies. Junmyeon. Everything about him, has always fascinated Sehun. His temperament, his intelligence and humility, despite all of that. And his beauty. God, his beauty. He was truly beautiful, inside and out. A beautiful soul to match a beautiful body and mind. Sehun had fallen hard. It was gradual, yes. But it didn’t make the fall any less true and painful.    
  
Sehun had no idea where to start with his confession, stumbling over words and fidgeting with his hands nervously. He wasn’t even saying much of anything, just uttering nonsense, hoping for his confession to tumble out among the words. Eventually, Junmyeon took pity on him, sliding off his crate and on to his knees, kneeling in front of Sehun and taking his shaking hands into his own. Little did he know, he just added fuel to the fire.   
  
Sehun wanted nothing more than to drown in his hands. Let them roam everywhere and comfort him, telling him everything was okay and that they loved him too. Improbable situation.    
  
“Sehun? Are you okay?”    
  
‘Fuck no, I’m not okay,’ Sehun wanted to say. He was terribly nervous and bouncing his legs as his mind spun the worst case scenarios, telling him it was going to end badly. That a person like him doesn’t deserve love. Things he’d been told all his life. Thoughts of this, caused tears to fill his eyes. He hadn’t said a word, yet his throat was in pain.   
  
The sudden tears alarmed Junmyeon, making him rise, leaning forward and abandoning Sehun’s hands in favor of his face, holding him tightly and wiping the falling tears. “Hun, seriously, what’s wrong?” His tone was pleading, almost begging for Sehun to explain.    
  
His hands eventually turned Sehun’s head for him, forcing him to look Junmyeon in the eyes. As their eyes met, Sehun uttered a quiet and broken, “Don’t”, before wrapping his arms around Junmyeon tightly, bringing himself off his milk crate and on to the soft and damp earth beneath him. He was so conflicted.    
  
Part of him wanted to shove Junmyeon away and curse at him for even touching him. For hurting him even more without even realizing it. But the other part wanted to be held, and told everything was okay. Or at least it was going to be. It was only him and Junmyeon here. Only them to hear this. It comforted and scared Sehun.   
  
“I don’t know how to tell you.” Sehun was sobbing, getting his tears on Junmyeon’s white t-shirt and clinging on to the fabric. And Junmyeon waited patiently, nodding and rubbing the younger’s back, pulling him closer. “I’ll wait, Hun.”    
  
He was so patient. Too patient. He was going to be disgusted. It was inevitable. But Sehun was selfish, allowing Junmyeon to hold him in all his oblivion for just a beat longer. Whispering, Sehun finally let his thoughts out.   
  
“I love you.” It was a broken cry of a whisper, dampened by Junmyeon’s shirt and shoulder, yet, he still heard.   
  
“I love you too, Sehun.” Sehun knew he didn’t mean it the same way and it was driving him crazy. He contains himself in this moment and pulls himself out of Junmyeon’s arms to look at him more clearly.    
  
“Junmyeon. I’m in love with you.” Save for his voice breaking at the end of his sentence, Sehun delivered well. He was already bracing to be hit. To be yelled at for being some freak of nature. To be abandoned. Yet, no hands came. No reprimands came. No words came at all.   
  
Sehun forces himself to open his eyes. Junmyeon is before him. He’s silent, but his eyes are closed as well. Just as Sehun is about to speak again, he notices a tear falling from Junmyeon’s right eye.    
  
He briefly remembers a fellow student in his psychology class rambling about the difference between happy and sad tears, noting that tears of joy start from the right eye, and tears of pain start from the left.   
  
Sehun has never prayed for pseudoscience to be fact, until this moment.   
  
It’s a moment and bated breath before Junmyeon sighs unevenly, opening his eyes and wiping away his tears. As his sigh clears his lungs, a chuckle makes its way out. Sehun waits nervously.   
  
“All of these theatrics, to tell me something I already knew?” Junmyeon smiles, tilting his head and holding Sehun’s eyes in his own.   
  
Relief. Anxiety. Fear. Embarrassment. Self doubt. They all hit Sehun at once, making him unsure of how to react. What does Junmyeon mean by that? How could he have known? Why is he still here, if he knows? Sehun decides the last question is more relevant.   
  
“Then why are you here?” His tone is barbed, already putting his guard up to be broken. He’s rehearsed this part in his mind. This much he knows. He’s prepared for rejection.   
  
“What kind of question is that?” Junmyeon laughs again, clearly missing the point, much to Sehun’s chagrin. “If you know I’m in love with you, why are you here?”   
  
He was borderline fighting now. Junmyeon’s flippancy and nonchalant way of answering him was seriously pissing him off. He was being toyed with, and he didn’t like it one bit. Why couldn’t Junmyeon just yell or hit him? It would hurt less than this. Loving him hurt even more.    
  
“Sehun, I know you’re smarter than this,” His gentle reprimand broke through Sehun’s thoughts, causing Sehun to look up and truly listen, “I’m here for the same reason you are. I feel the same way. Why else would I come back every weekend to be here?”   
  
Sehun was stunned. He felt faint all the sudden, his world literally and figuratively spinning in front of him. He could feel the adrenaline filling his body, Junmyeon’s words filling him from the tips of his toes to the ends of his hair. “I don’t know.” He answered honestly, laughing at himself.   
  
He honestly didn’t know.   
  
“Oh Sehun, I swear you drive me wild,” Junmyeon smiles genuinely, pulling Sehun back into his arms and placing a kiss on the top of his head, just like he would do when they were kids, “I’m gonna go grey before I’m 25.”    
  
Sehun’s nervous laughter filled the area, his body shaking due to the laughter and his nerves. Junmyeon held him still.    
  
Before Sehun could speak, he was being pushed back again. Junmyeon’s eyes were all over his face, seemingly scrutinizing the teen. Taking every one of his features in carefully. He made a decision.   
  
And before Sehun could hear said decision, lips were on his. He froze. The kiss was chaste. Gentle and reassuring. Steady and moving. Sehun melts into it.   
  
_ ‘We’ll be okay,’ _ He thinks to himself as Junmyeon pulls away, resting his forehead against the younger male’s. They smile at each other and laugh shyly.   
  
_ ‘We’ll be okay.’ _ He thinks to himself, as Junmyeon slips his hand into his own and helps him off the ground, suggesting they do get food at their favorite restaurant. As they step out of their paradise, Sehun looks at Junmyeon by his side.    
  
__ ‘We’ll be okay.’

**Author's Note:**

> i love this universe and kinda want to make it into a series? im not quite sure, though. kudos and comments are appreciated! thank you for reading!


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